One Less Thing To Do Before I Die...

Where to begin? Last night I one of my biggest dreams was fulfilled, one which up until recently I had thought would never happen. If you hadn't guessed, last night I got to see Eric Clapton perform live!!! He clearly is one of the most talented musicians around today.

The whole atmosphere at this concert was unlike any I have ever attended...the majority of the audience was middle-aged, with many a former hippy. It was not one of those wildly energetic shows, but one where you simply sit back in awe of all the talent assembled onstage.

The Robert Cray Band opened the show. Normally, I am rather skeptical of opening bands, as usually I get bored and frustrated waiting for the main show. Tonight was not one of those nights. Robert Cray is an extremely talented blues musician, and I was completely drawn into the music. In addition, he can solo with the best of them (Clapton excluded). I was actually saddened when he finished his 40 minute opening set. There is something about fine blues music that just draws you in until you are completely absorbed in the music. The crowd was appreciative of his talent as well, as the applause and cheering grew louder with each successive song (many of them probably had never heard of the Robert Cray Band). Under normal circumstances, this act would have been a tough one to follow due to the sheer amount of musical talent.

I do not even know where to begin to describe the main event of the night. I did not know it was possible to assemble so much talent in a single band. In addition to Clapton, there was another guitarist, a drummer, an organist, a pianist, a bassist, and two female background vocalists, all with considerable talent. More time was spent soloing than singing by a wide margin, which to me is a sign of a good show. One song lasted for about 15 minutes, as almost everyone in the band was given extensive solos. The organ and piano solos were especially amazing, although the highlight for me was of course the bass solo. For the most part, I did not recognize too many songs, but that was of no consequence. In the middle of his preformance, Clapton did a 'sit-down' set, where he played his hollow-body electric and acoustic guitars, playing some softer traditional blues. He then went on to play about 5 more songs, finishing the night off with 'Layla'.

For the encore, he returned to the stage and played absolutely captivating versions of 'Cocaine' and 'Crossroads'. For 'Crossroads', Robert Cray returned to the stage to share vocals and guitar solos with Clapton for an incredible performance. What a night!

When I stood up to leave after the show ended, I was immediately light-headed and dizzy. At first I thought maybe it was the fact that our seats were so high up, but then I realized it probably had more to do with the thick cloud of marijuana smoke in our area. But other than that, it was the concert event of a lifetime.

LYC: Closer

Well, I am writing today in a state of sickness and utter exhaustion...as you probably know, it was youth conference here last weekend. Let me tell you, until you have actually worked at a youth conference, you have absolutely no idea how much work goes into it. I added it up, and over the course of three days, I put in approximately 42 hours of work for LYC, hence my being sick and tired all this week. But it was well worth it.

I signed up to work as an usher this year, thinking that it was a fairly easy job and a way to be involved in the weekend. Let me tell you, it was anything but a slack job, whether it was acting as security, serving food to the delegates, etc. After getting a behind the scenes look at youth conference, I will find it hard to ever complain about such an event again. There are so many people working behind the scene that go unnoticed, yet play an essential role. Perhaps the greatest part of the weekend for me occurred during the final rally. I was up front running security during the worship, but was not really needed, as the kids were not too out of control. Instead, I was able to simply join in the worship with the rest of the youth who had come to the front to worship. It was just a great feeling to see college students worshiping alongside the high school students as one body. As much as my body is telling me I should have taken it easy last weekend rather than volunteering my services at LYC, I have been incredibly blessed by the experience, and would do it all again...as soon as I recover from the last one!

Post #60!

I'm not really sure how to begin this post, but just wanted to share some things that God has shown me about myself in the past little while, things I need to be freed from in order to maintain a healthy ministry to those around me. Recently I have realized the extent to which I have been plagued by guilt, not guilt over things I've done, but over things I think I could have done. Let me explain.

In the past couple of years, I have watched as good friends have fallen away from their faith, making decisions that will only hurt themselves and those around them. Never once did I speak up, even though it was not necessarily my place to say anything. In the back of my mind, I have always had the belief that if only I had said or done something, then maybe things would have turned out differently for my friends. In a way, I have placed some of the blame for their decisions upon myself, frequently pondering the 'what ifs'. I care so deeply for the well-being of my friends that I too often hold to the false belief that I can personally change them, placing an unfair burden upon myself. I guess you could say that I have a hero/savior complex in that I want to be the one to change people. It hurts me to see my friends make poor choices in life. This is an area of life that I need to surrender completely to God; deep down I know that only a loving God can change hearts, and need to trust Him to do what only He can do. I am sick of living with guilt that is not mine to bear, and want to be free of it.

I think that when I try to change people by myself, it can actually have the opposite of my intended effect. It is only God who knows the inner workings of a person's heart, so the best thing I can do is continue to uplift my friends in prayer. However, the Bible does call Christians to hold each other accountable. Part of being a friend is speaking what is on your heart even when it is difficult to do so. Proverbs 27:6 says that "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses." I honestly do not know where to draw the line between when to step up and say something and when to simply pray and let God do what He does best.

These are issues that I must resolve, especially if I am to enter full time ministry. As a pastor, you simply cannot carry the weight of everbody's burdens; this will only lead to unbearable stress and burnout. It is my desire to give all of this up to God, and instead let Him use me as He sees fit to accomplish His will.

Part Two

Today I would like to continue to share some of the things God has been teaching me as of late. It's amazing how much you learn when you make an effort to resume daily devotions! On a side note, having morning devotions really makes a huge difference in your day; I didn't really believe this until I tried it for myself. I'm just glad to have a roommate who challenged me to start up daily devotions again. Anyways, what I wanted to write about today is choices.

Once again, many of these ideas are taken from the book "Chasing Daylight". We all want to know what God's plan is for us in regards to our future; uncertainty is never pleasant. As a result, many of us simply sit around waiting for God to illuminate a clear and marked out path; in waiting around for an answer, we often become rather unproductive workers in the kingdom. Many times, it is not the case of God not clearly laying out his complete plans for us, but of us simply needing to make a choice. The Bible clearly outlines how one ought to live; if a person constantly chooses the good over evil, they will be moving down the path that God has chosen for them. McManus describes this situation when he writes:

"On of the most-asked questions among sincere followers of Jesus Christ is, 'What is God's will for my life?' We want a detailed map or plan. We want God to spell it out so we can follow the instructions. Too often we want it clear and uncomplicated, but God simply does not work like that. For a lot of us the most spiritual thing we can do is to do something - to turn right when we want to turn left. So we must move beyond simply choosing between right and wrong. We must resolve not only to leave the path of doing evil, but also to passionately pursue a life of doing good. The danger is getting stuck in between the two, living your life in the neutral zone. No real evil to speak about, but no great good to be proud of either. This takes us beyond having nothing to be ashamed of to being ashamed if we do nothing. It is rarely counted as evil when we live in neutral."

I think that sometimes we simply claim to be waiting for God to show us the path as an excuse not to go out and do something. For example, a person may decline helping a homeless person using the excuse that they didn't feel God called them specifically to the task. If there is a good work to be done, it will never be contrary to the character of God to accomplish the task, provided it is done with proper motives. Uncertainty is not an excuse to do nothing.

Another obstacle that prevents people from truly embarking down the path God has chosen for them is a fear of trusting their passions. McManus addresses this issue when he writes:

"With the depth of godly character comes an intensity of godly passion...For some strange reason many sincere followers of Christ have come to think that their passions are always in conflict with God's purpose. Yet the psalmist said, 'Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart: (Ps. 37:4). When you draw near to God, God infuses passion. God works through human desires."

Basically, if you are truly and whole-heartedly seeking after God, it is safe to trust your passions and desires, as they will be in line with the heart of God. These are lessons that I have been learning this year. My future still remains unclear but I took the first step of coming to Bible school this year, and know without a doubt that this is right where I am supposed to be. I also believe that I am supposed to return here next year, and eventually graduate with my degree. It has brought me that much closer to fulfilling God's plan for my life. I would never have come to this realization had I not made the choice to come to school here this year. I believe that the more we choose the good, the more God will reveal Himself and His purposes to us. This may have been a rather long blog, but I've also been learning a lot lately.

Part One of _______

I would just like to share some things that God has been showing me over the past week or so. I have recently began reading the book "Chasing Daylight" by Erwin Raphael McManus, and it has had a great impact on my daily life. The theme of the book, as cliche as it may sound, is about seizing every moment, letting God work through you moment by moment. As I have recently discovered, this is an extremely exciting and fulfilling way to live your life. McManus writes:

"The most important moments rarely come at a convenient time. Sometimes you wish that God would check your calendar first. The ironic part is that our schedules get packed with the mundane and ordinary, and we become irritated with God when He interrupts us with the miraculous and extraordinary. The Scriptures are full of stories about people who were rudely interupted by God. We read them and long to have the kind of adventure experienced by those men and women. Yet when God interrupts us, are we willing to respond on a moment's notice?"

So many of us, myself included, have a desire to lead an exciting, meaningful life, yet want to live this life on our own terms. We live with the fear that God may call us to do something undesirable, something that may disrupt our day-to-day life. However, when you live moment by moment, the only thing you can worry about is the choices you make in that particular moment. I experienced this first hand yesterday as I was walking home from the Mustard Seed. I was in a bit of a hurry because I had dinner plans with a friend last night, when a guy approached me on the street. He introduced himself, and when he learned that I go to Bible school, he told me that he had become a Christian himself in the last couple years, as he had nowhere else to turn. He then proceeded to tell me a long story about how both his parents had died, and he had spent every last bit of his savings on bus fares to get from Toronto to Fort McMurray, where he had just got a job. He no longer had any money to buy food, and had very few possessions. To make a long story short, I ended up going with him to an ATM and giving him a bit of money. I still am not sure whether I believed his story, but he told me that he figured my helping him out was God's way of letting him know that He still loved him, so who am I to say any different? I believe that when we focus on living for each moment, we may have opportunities such as this that we may have otherwise ignored or missed. When you remain open to God's leading, even ordinary things such as walking home from work can become opportunities for ministry. As of late, I find life much more exciting and rewarding, as I never know where/how God may use me next. This is so much better than simply trying to order and plan my life around my own hopes and desires. More on what I have been learning to follow...

My Second Blog This Week!

I just wanted to share some thoughts that have been on my mind as of late, something I believe is of utter importance for those seeking after God. For the past couple days I have been reflecting on the significance close community plays for the Christian walk. This point really hit home last night at our floor meeting. For the first time in a while we had almost our entire floor present for the weekly meeting. This weeks meeting consisted of a short devotional by our RA, followed by a time of prayer. The openess and care of all the guys on the floor really impacted me; people with prayer requests of any kind shared them with the group, and the rest of us subsequently layed hands on them and prayed for them. This may sound all well and good, but it was more than the atmosphere of trust and care that really impacted me; it was the unity of all us guys as the body of Christ that really amazed me, and here is why. You see, like any group of people, everybody on our floor does not always get along, and there is actually some dislike between some of the guys. However, all of that got put aside at our meeting, as we became the unified body of Christ. I can't recall the last time I ever experienced this type of community in a church, and to me that is a problem. We were not called to walk this life alone. In his book "Holiness in the Gospels" (which I had to read for a class), Kent Brower writes:

"discipleship is not an individual pursuit. The disciples are in it together. The call of the Twelve who are made into a group is instructive. The impression of these disparate persons being fashioned into the corporate representatives of the new people of God is strengthened by the Last Supper, their subsequent failure, and Jesus' reconstitution of them in Galilee...We need to think of discipleship as something we do together in following Jesus, not something that is done alone...discipleship means being together with Jesus on His mission."

The disciples came from a wide range of backgrounds, from tax collectors despised by the people to Zealots seeking to overthrow the Roman powers. Yet these differences were for the most part sidelined as they walked with Jesus. Even without the disciples, Jesus would not have been alone in His ministry. Jesus lived life in a radical dependence on the Holy Spirit, much as we are called to do today. By living in community, we can encourage, strengthen, comfort, and lift up one another before God. Community also helps hold us accountable, and provides support during times of weakness. I have experienced these benefits first-hand this year, whether it be by being prayed over by my brothers in Christ or simply being challenged to get my devotional life back on track. I am truly grateful to have been a part of Gerry Hall this year.

I'm Back!!!

Where to begin? Its been awhile since my last blog; I keep meaning to blog, but never get around to it, and as a result have forgotten a lot of what I wanted to share. So what follows promises to be a compilation of random thoughts and ideas from the past month or so.

#1: Skiriffic! Never in my life have I played as much bass as I did in that week. But as time consuming as all of the practices were, it was a lot of fun. I say this every year about Skiriffic, but this was the most talented band I have yet had the pleasure of being a part of. It was also the quickest I have ever seen a band gel. The very first song we ever practiced as a band came together and didn't sound half bad. The only explanation is that God had a hand in it, as a band is simply not supposed to sound good after only playing together for a week. As for Skiriffic itself, everything seemed to go really well, apart from a few guitar dropping incidents. The speaker seemed to really connect with the teens, although I don't know how many decisions were made that night. By the end of the week, I was ready to return to school so that I could recover from the break.

#2: My practicum at The Mustard Seed has continues as usual. Today we held the second memorial service there that I have been too. Today's memorial service was for a man who died in the intox at The Seed. It was somewhat of an interesting service. The man's sisters and other family members were in attendance, which would have been encouraging to the street people in attendance, simply seeing that this man had a family and was not alone. For many of them, death is a reality, as their various addictions have led to poor health; I believe that it is their hope that when they do pass away, their family will be present there, much as this man's family was present. It was also beneficial for the family, as they got to talk to and speak to those who counted the deceased as a friend, thus learning details about his life that they may not otherwise have heard. All in all, my practicum has been a very beneficial experience for me, so much so that I am returning to The Seed for my second year practicum.

#3: I believe that God may finally be revealing at least a little bit of what the future holds in store for me, which was my hope for coming to Bible school this year. This revelation occurred in quite an unexpected manner: through a spiritual gifts assessment for one of my classes. According to this test, my most dominant spiritual gifts are that of a pastor and missionary, respectively. When I saw this, I thought, maybe there is something to this. Those were the two jobs that I had always said I would never have, and had always secretly hoped that I would never be called to those vocations. However, after seeing the results of this assessment, I thought that maybe there was something to it. The idea of being a pastor or missionary does not seem quite as fearful as it once did. At this point I know nothing for certain, merely that God is leading me in that general direction, wherever that may take me. So as it stands, I have plans of completely my 4-year Bachelor of Ministry degree, hopefully receiving a greater clarification of my calling in the process.

#4: The last thing that I would like to share is simply the thing that has impacted me the most while attending AUC-NUC, and that is simply the professors at the school. I think I speak for all the guys on my floor when I say that you would be hard-pressed to find a more quality group of men than those who teach us. They display genuine care for their students; I don't know of any other schools where the teachers are on a first name basis with their students, or who are more easily approachable. How many people have ever had professors come and hang out with the students outside of school? Maybe the better question would be how many students actually want their professors to hang out with them? The answer to both questions is the students of AUC-NUC. Many of us guys look to our professors as shining examples of what it means to be godly men, and see that as something to strive for in life. While not every class will be interesting, at our school there are more important things than academics, as is stressed by the faculty. It is all about growing in faith as a community of believers. So there is my little plug for my school...come join me here next fall!

#5: One more thing! I would just like to say that I am very disappointed with my Oilers as of late. There is no way Ryan Smyth should have been traded for a couple prospects and a draft pick. You simply cannnot put a price on the heart he plays with. So I am still a loyal fan, but a very bitter and disappointed fan; this is not made easier by all the Canucks and Flames fans around me. But still...GO OILERS GO!!!