Post #60!
I'm not really sure how to begin this post, but just wanted to share some things that God has shown me about myself in the past little while, things I need to be freed from in order to maintain a healthy ministry to those around me. Recently I have realized the extent to which I have been plagued by guilt, not guilt over things I've done, but over things I think I could have done. Let me explain.
In the past couple of years, I have watched as good friends have fallen away from their faith, making decisions that will only hurt themselves and those around them. Never once did I speak up, even though it was not necessarily my place to say anything. In the back of my mind, I have always had the belief that if only I had said or done something, then maybe things would have turned out differently for my friends. In a way, I have placed some of the blame for their decisions upon myself, frequently pondering the 'what ifs'. I care so deeply for the well-being of my friends that I too often hold to the false belief that I can personally change them, placing an unfair burden upon myself. I guess you could say that I have a hero/savior complex in that I want to be the one to change people. It hurts me to see my friends make poor choices in life. This is an area of life that I need to surrender completely to God; deep down I know that only a loving God can change hearts, and need to trust Him to do what only He can do. I am sick of living with guilt that is not mine to bear, and want to be free of it.
I think that when I try to change people by myself, it can actually have the opposite of my intended effect. It is only God who knows the inner workings of a person's heart, so the best thing I can do is continue to uplift my friends in prayer. However, the Bible does call Christians to hold each other accountable. Part of being a friend is speaking what is on your heart even when it is difficult to do so. Proverbs 27:6 says that "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses." I honestly do not know where to draw the line between when to step up and say something and when to simply pray and let God do what He does best.
These are issues that I must resolve, especially if I am to enter full time ministry. As a pastor, you simply cannot carry the weight of everbody's burdens; this will only lead to unbearable stress and burnout. It is my desire to give all of this up to God, and instead let Him use me as He sees fit to accomplish His will.
In the past couple of years, I have watched as good friends have fallen away from their faith, making decisions that will only hurt themselves and those around them. Never once did I speak up, even though it was not necessarily my place to say anything. In the back of my mind, I have always had the belief that if only I had said or done something, then maybe things would have turned out differently for my friends. In a way, I have placed some of the blame for their decisions upon myself, frequently pondering the 'what ifs'. I care so deeply for the well-being of my friends that I too often hold to the false belief that I can personally change them, placing an unfair burden upon myself. I guess you could say that I have a hero/savior complex in that I want to be the one to change people. It hurts me to see my friends make poor choices in life. This is an area of life that I need to surrender completely to God; deep down I know that only a loving God can change hearts, and need to trust Him to do what only He can do. I am sick of living with guilt that is not mine to bear, and want to be free of it.
I think that when I try to change people by myself, it can actually have the opposite of my intended effect. It is only God who knows the inner workings of a person's heart, so the best thing I can do is continue to uplift my friends in prayer. However, the Bible does call Christians to hold each other accountable. Part of being a friend is speaking what is on your heart even when it is difficult to do so. Proverbs 27:6 says that "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses." I honestly do not know where to draw the line between when to step up and say something and when to simply pray and let God do what He does best.
These are issues that I must resolve, especially if I am to enter full time ministry. As a pastor, you simply cannot carry the weight of everbody's burdens; this will only lead to unbearable stress and burnout. It is my desire to give all of this up to God, and instead let Him use me as He sees fit to accomplish His will.
posted by Bassmaster Fehr @ 10:02 a.m.
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